It’s January 2019.
The temperature today with wind chill: -20F. Tomorrow: even colder and windier.
It is dark at 5:30am.
It is dark at 5:30pm.
I haven’t been to gym since June 2018. Some background: my mother suffered a stroke at the beginning of 2017 and had gotten progressively worse from there on. Her situation intensified in June 2018 and she passed away in August 2018. But this blog is about exercise, or rather the lack of it, so in order not to elaborate on a story that I could write a book about, suffice it to say that my exercise routine went away, again.
Did I use my mother’s condition as an excuse not to go to gym? I don’t know.
Now it’s January 2019. I find myself in the same spot, exercise wise, as exactly one year ago. It seems that I had stopped going to gym in the summer of 2017 and resumed in January 2018. Is this a pattern?
It could be a pattern. Gym starts at 5:30am. When I say “gym”, I mean an intensive, Bootcamp style class. As fall progresses into winter, it gets darker and darker in the morning, until it’s pitch dark. I live in a townhouse development and I feel uneasy walking to my car in the dark through my courtyard while everyone sleeps. All windows are dark, not one light is on. The dark and cold seems to interrupt my exercise routine – it seems to be a regular cycle.
What is the alternative? I could do Bootcamp after work at my private gym, and could swim at the YMCA or just do mild exercise at the Y. I did that a few times, but by the time I get out of work it’s dark again. The dark definitely has a discouraging effect on me – all I want to do is be home. I don’t really mind the cold. I mind the dark. So… in as much as I hate to admit it to myself, I am probably going to wait for the days to get lighter before I resume my regular Bootcamp routine. In the meantime, I know that I am wasting my membership, which is paid by my super-generous daughter. That is a regret. She refuses to cancel my membership hoping that I will show up at gym. I feel so guilty but still, I can’t bring myself to get out into the cold dark morning.
But… I really need to get to the YMCA after work until I resume Bootcamp. I am now getting out of breath just walking, or climbing stairs. I know that I need to move. I guess this blog post is to talk myself into moving.